Have you ever…
1. been married?
Yes, a rather stupid mistake back in the 1980’s. I got sort of roped into it, a grandmother wanted to see one of her granddaughters married off before she died and well, there I was.
2. been divorced? been remarried?
Yes divorced. Right now I can’t marry since RI is now the only god damned state in New England that doesn’t have marriage equality.
3. had sex at a wedding reception?
I’m not that tacky. However at my own wedding reception I did the pairings for maximum effect.
For example, I paired my infantile biased friend Donny with the wifes well endowed cousin whose nickname was Boom Boom. I’ll leave that to your imagination. And my best friend had a thing for older women so he went home with my single MIL. Then there was the best man and the maid of honor. They had a thing for each other and were both married to other people at the time. I know they got busy.
4. had sex with someone you first met at a wedding or wedding reception?
Not that I can ever recall.
5. given a a toast to the bride and groom?
Yes I have, my above mentioned best man, well I was best man for his wedding.
Bonus (as in optional): What is the funniest thing you’ve seen or done at a wedding?
A bunch of grown people doing the Funky Chicken. Honestly, it has to be seen to be believed.
Bonus II (as in optional): What is the best toast for the wedding couples?
Live long and prosper, and if it should come that this relationship wasn’t meant to be, I can refer you to a good attorney.