Yet another meme

Found this on Patently Queer.

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

Am I limited to just the one person? For example, I’m a bit of an electronics geek so could I say modify it to maybe blow up three people? No, ok I want the public face of NOM, Maggie “The Loathsome” Gallagher to explode when I push the button.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?

Hmmm. I’m trying to think of one group or person I really can’t stand. Probably that hack Amy Winehouse.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

See my answer to the first question. Barring the Explode-O-Button a sock to the face might be fun. Maggie “The Loathsome” Gallagher, meet my fist.

4. What is your favorite cheese?

I pretty much love the strong stinky varieties like Stilton.

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?

A meatball sandwich. I have to admire whoever it was who invented the meatball. Brilliant idea, wad up a ball of seasoned meat, broil it, stew it in tomato sauce and serve it up on a toasted roll along with some provolone cheese.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?

Matt Damon. Yeah, a very sweet ass on him.

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?

Oh this is tough. D’Angelo I suppose.

8. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?

Like others I could get about 3 bottles of wine and some nice cheeses and crackers to go with it.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Atlanta to visit my friend Ky.

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?

Now this one is easy, we gettin’ a little drunk!

11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is…?

I’m torn between a Pinot Noir and a Chianti.

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?

I’d grab a video camera and head back two thousand years and meet up with Jesus. I want to collect video evidence that he was a big ‘mo just like us. (I just left Larry’s answer in here because I agree wholeheartedly that the abilities of Jesus may have been, to quote a Family Guy movie, a tad exaggerated.)

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

No religious people allowed. The minute you openly claim your undying faith to God or Christ and you’re out.

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what’s the premise?

“It is YOUR Government” Every week you’d be shown an abuse perpetrated by a corporation hiding behind Constitutional rights, then you’d be shown what would happen to that corporation if they didn’t have those rights and instead the people had all the rights.

15. What is your favorite curse word?

The most versatile word out there, “fuck”. E.g. Fuck you you fuckin’ fuck.

16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

I wouldn’t even wake up. They’re not gonna hurt you.

17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the item?

My laptop. Definitely my laptop. My life is on that machine which is why I am meticulous about maintenance and backups.

18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?

That’s about enough time to load up the gun and get where I need to be to whack a few people.

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be?

Invisibility. I think that comes from being in I.T. for the majority of my life. We’re invisible until something breaks.

20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

The day I met Keyron. Seriously.

21.You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

My mom dying when I was 13.

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin’! What country are you going to live in now?

Probably Italy.

23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?

I’ve never been a bar person. Bores me to tears.

24. Hopefully you didn’t mention this in the super-powers question…. If you did, then we’ll just expand on that. Check it out… Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like “Dude, check it out… I can FLOAT!”?

I’d float in the Governors office and tell him he’s a fucking bigot right to his face.

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?

Luther Vandross

26. The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

Oh easy, my mother if only so she could meet Keyron.

27. What’s your theme song?

Frank Sinatra’s “My Way”

2 thoughts on “Yet another meme

  1. Dude, this is seriously funny! Are you sure you aren’t my friend Jeff? ‘Cause that’s exactly how he’d answer #18. Only I think he’d use a sword.

    Maybe I need to get a gun, just in case of the Angel of Death contingency…

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