So lately I’ve been driving from Warwick/East Greenwich, RI to Newport RI. That involves getting on RI-4 South, then Route 1 South and RI-138 East. 

My thoughts on RI-4 are who the hell builds a highway and then puts two crossroads with signals on said highway. Christ on a stick, make over or under passes for those roads and stop the horse shit. Because from about the Rte. 401 link on I-4 right to the spot where it says ‘No more numbered exits” you know you’re in the shit because of those god damned traffic lights. 

Now – where RI-4 ends and dumps in U.S. 1 there are clear signs that the right lane ends. But morons stay in the right lane until the very last moment and then look at you like you’re the one with six eyes because you wouldn’t let them merge. Oh well, should have paid attention there ass wipe. 

But my favorite is what I now refer to as a Twatmobile. In essence it’s a mini-van almost invariably driven by women, hence the Twat part. I know, I know, I’m going to get tagged as a misogynist but fuck it. 

Back to the story – RI-138 both ways is two lanes. Now I have this strict thing – if you’re in the left lane you’d better be going above the posted speed limit. And here’s a fun video that explains the true danger isn’t speeding, but the change of speed.

So anyhow invariably it’s always a Twatmobile in the left fucking lane doing 30MPH! Ut si. I do the polite and European thing – I flash the high beams. It’s my way of saying “Get the fuck out of the way!”.  When they don’t move and there is a break in right lane I’ll be sure to move right, speed up, pass the Twatmobile and cut it off, well in my fantasies. I just hit the gas and go. 

I can still recall back in drivers education they taught defensive driving. I believe in offensive driving. :)