Yes I know I haven’t done one of these in forever if only due to the fact that some of the questions just leave me cold or appear as lame in my view. BTW, I note Google language tools are getting better. Imagine that.

1. What are your feelings about traditional bachelor/bachelorette parties?

Kind of a snooze. Society has gotten a bit too wrapped up in propriety over the last 20 or so years. I blame it on the rise of the neo-con Republicans. But I do live in a place that has a number of strip clubs that would be ideal settings for such a thing.

2. Do you wear (or not wear) something special to bed/dress differently when you want to have sex?

Nah, much more fun having to pull clothes off. Besides, all I need is the one I love rubbing up against me and it’s on!

3. Do you ever fake orgasms?

I believe I’ve said this before, it’s kind of hard for a guy to fake an orgasm. At least it is in my case because I leave a fairly voluminous deposit of fluid! Not as much as when I was younger mind you since back then I used to be able to hit the wall behind my head, several blasts as a matter of fact.

4. Do you own any leather or rubber clothing?

Can’t say that I do, oh wait. A brown leather jacket that’s getting nicely faded in some spots.

5. On a scale from 1-10, how willing are you to do something in bed you don’t want to just because you are asked?

I’d probably be around a six on this.

Bonus: Can men and women be “just friends?”

Yes in fact they can. One of my best friends is a woman. But then I’m a gay man so you can see how there wouldn’t be any conflict there.

1. What is your underwear “style” of choice?

When required, briefs. But when situations allow, commando!

2. How old were you when you had your first sexual experience?

I was 13 years old. And yes the first time was a homosexual encounter.

3. What about a potential partner turns you on?

Cute face, nice ass on a male of course!

4. Have you ever played a game which may require you or others to disrobe?

Can’t say that I have. Why play games when you can get to the act?

5. Given or received finger scratch marks during sexual activity?

Oh yes. Plenty of time I’ve had physical stigmata evident the next day.

Bonus: How many times is the most you have ever had sex in a 24 hour period?

I think this question was already asked in a different way. My record for ejaculation is 11 times in one day. The first 6 or so were copious. 7 through 11 not so much and after 11 nothing. Yes you can drain it out.

1. Have you used put anything edible on (or in) your partner’s body and then eaten it?

Oh yes. Chocolate syrup. Whipped Cream, all easily edible but very messy.

2. Have you ever had an AIDS test due to reasonable suspicion or hyperactive imagination?

No I haven’t. Even when I was single I was very conscious of playing safe. Did get tested a few times with a negative result.

3. Have you ever fantasized about someone else other than your partner while you were engaged in sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation?

Maybe during mutual masturbation. But that’s about the extent.

4. Have you ever engaged in sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation while in a moving car? A car being driven by someone not engaged in the sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation?

While driving, yes I have. It’s a little dangerous though even if you are wearing a seat belt. You smack into something and say goodbye to junior.

The heaviest its ever gotten when someone else is driving is making out and heavy petting. I’m a little prudish in that respect.

5. Have you ever had sex so many times or for so long that one or both people involved runs dry?

Yes I have. Hell even by myself I once had a several hours marathon, I think I hit 11 and after that it was just shooting blanks but hell it felt good.

Bonus (as in optional): Name 5 things an unplanned (or planned) visitor would find in your bedroom?

The phone. It’s a 1972 vintage Western Electric 2702B in pink. The 2702B is the TouchTone Princess.

They’d also find my game of life device, my RGB mood light, my iPod, and lots of books.

===Upside down:

.sʞooq ɟo sʇo1 puɐ ‘podı ʎɯ ‘ʇɥbı1 pooɯ qbɹ ʎɯ ‘ǝɔıʌǝp ǝɟı1 ɟo ǝɯɐb ʎɯ puıɟ os1ɐ p,ʎǝɥʇ

.ssǝɔuıɹd ǝuoʇɥɔnoʇ ǝɥʇ sı q2072 ǝɥʇ .ʞuıd uı q2072 ɔıɹʇɔǝ1ǝ uɹǝʇsǝʍ ǝbɐʇuıʌ 2791 ɐ s,ʇı .ǝuoɥd ǝɥʇ

¿ɯooɹpǝq ɹnoʎ uı puıɟ p1noʍ ɹoʇısıʌ (pǝuuɐ1d ɹo) pǝuuɐ1dun uɐ sbuıɥʇ 5 ǝɯɐu :(1ɐuoıʇdo uı sɐ) snuoq

.poob ʇ1ǝɟ ʇı 11ǝɥ ʇnq sʞuɐ1q buıʇooɥs ʇsnظ sɐʍ ʇı ʇɐɥʇ ɹǝʇɟɐ puɐ 11 ʇıɥ ı ʞuıɥʇ ı ‘uoɥʇɐɹɐɯ sɹnoɥ 1ɐɹǝʌǝs ɐ pɐɥ ǝɔuo ı ɟ1ǝsʎɯ ʎq uǝʌǝ 11ǝɥ .ǝʌɐɥ ı sǝʎ

¿ʎɹp sunɹ pǝʌ1oʌuı ǝ1doǝd ɥʇoq ɹo ǝuo ʇɐɥʇ buo1 os ɹoɟ ɹo sǝɯıʇ ʎuɐɯ os xǝs pɐɥ ɹǝʌǝ noʎ ǝʌɐɥ .5

.ʇɔǝdsǝɹ ʇɐɥʇ uı ɥsıpnɹd ǝ1ʇʇı1 ɐ ɯ,ı .buıʇʇǝd ʎʌɐǝɥ puɐ ʇno buıʞɐɯ sı buıʌıɹp sı ǝs1ǝ ǝuoǝɯos uǝɥʍ uǝʇʇob ɹǝʌǝ sʇı ʇsǝıʌɐǝɥ ǝɥʇ

.ɹoıunظ oʇ ǝʎqpoob ʎɐs puɐ buıɥʇǝɯos oʇuı ʞɔɐɯs noʎ .ʇ1ǝq ʇɐǝs ɐ buıɹɐǝʍ ǝɹɐ noʎ ɟı uǝʌǝ ɥbnoɥʇ snoɹǝbuɐp ǝ1ʇʇı1 ɐ s,ʇı .ǝʌɐɥ ı sǝʎ ‘buıʌıɹp ǝ1ıɥʍ

¿uoıʇɐqɹnʇsɐɯ 1ɐnʇnɯ ɹo ‘xǝs 1ɐɹo ‘xǝs ǝɥʇ uı pǝbɐbuǝ ʇou ǝuoǝɯos ʎq uǝʌıɹp buıǝq ɹɐɔ ɐ ¿ɹɐɔ buıʌoɯ ɐ uı ǝ1ıɥʍ uoıʇɐqɹnʇsɐɯ 1ɐnʇnɯ ɹo ‘xǝs 1ɐɹo ‘xǝs uı pǝbɐbuǝ ɹǝʌǝ noʎ ǝʌɐɥ .4

.ʇuǝʇxǝ ǝɥʇ ʇnoqɐ s,ʇɐɥʇ ʇnq .uoıʇɐqɹnʇsɐɯ 1ɐnʇnɯ buıɹnp ǝqʎɐɯ

¿uoıʇɐqɹnʇsɐɯ 1ɐnʇnɯ ɹo ‘xǝs 1ɐɹo ‘xǝs uı pǝbɐbuǝ ǝɹǝʍ noʎ ǝ1ıɥʍ ɹǝuʇɹɐd ɹnoʎ uɐɥʇ ɹǝɥʇo ǝs1ǝ ǝuoǝɯos ʇnoqɐ pǝzısɐʇuɐɟ ɹǝʌǝ noʎ ǝʌɐɥ .3

.ʇ1nsǝɹ ǝʌıʇɐbǝu ɐ ɥʇıʍ sǝɯıʇ ʍǝɟ ɐ pǝʇsǝʇ ʇǝb pıp .ǝɟɐs buıʎɐ1d ɟo snoıɔsuoɔ ʎɹǝʌ sɐʍ ı ǝ1buıs sɐʍ ı uǝɥʍ uǝʌǝ .ʇ,uǝʌɐɥ ı ou

¿uoıʇɐuıbɐɯı ǝʌıʇɔɐɹǝdʎɥ ɹo uoıɔıdsns ǝ1qɐuosɐǝɹ oʇ ǝnp ʇsǝʇ spıɐ uɐ pɐɥ ɹǝʌǝ noʎ ǝʌɐɥ .2

.ʎssǝɯ ʎɹǝʌ ʇnq ǝ1qıpǝ ʎ1ısɐǝ 11ɐ ‘ɯɐǝɹɔ pǝddıɥʍ .dnɹʎs ǝʇɐ1oɔoɥɔ .sǝʎ ɥo

¿ʇı uǝʇɐǝ uǝɥʇ puɐ ʎpoq s,ɹǝuʇɹɐd ɹnoʎ (uı ɹo) uo ǝ1qıpǝ buıɥʇʎuɐ ʇnd pǝsn noʎ ǝʌɐɥ .1

1. Where was the first place you ever had sex?

It was a very long time ago. In my parents basement – I was 13 at the time. Yes, an early start. And yes it was male/male.

2. How often do you lie?

I don’t lie, at least nothing other than little white lies.

3. If you could only be one, would you rather be smart or good looking?

Smart. Looks only get you so far in this world.

4. Have you ever passed out or suffered memory loss from drinking too much?

No I haven’t. I have the unfortunate curse of having a perfect memory when I’m drunk. It does prevent me from making too big a fool of myself though.

5. Top or bottom?

Top, as if there should be any question.

Bonus: Do you have any catalogs for toys/videos/lingere delivered to your home?

Who needs to do that when there are plenty of adult stores in the city I live in. Per capita we’re probably the freakiest city in the northeast.

Our legislature still can’t manage to close the so called ‘loophole’ in RI law that allows prostitution to go on behind closed doors. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m for keeping it legal. I say that people should embrace it if they want Providence to be a convention city.

I’m

1. How many speeding tickets have you had? Accidents?

Exactly 1. That was years ago in Florida. I was doing about 110MPH. Why not, I was used to the twisty heavily trafficked roads here in the northeast so when I hit a stretch of open highway with 70 miles between exits I figured what the hell.

2. Boxers, briefs or commando?

Commando.

3. Have you ever had sex in your office or your place of employment?

I decline to say on the grounds that it may incriminate me. Oh stop, lets just say there’s one computer room that saw me and Keyron gettin’ it on. I wonder if the floor still has that big cum stain. Hmmm.

4. Do you or your so own a motorcycle? Do you ever ride one? Do you wear a helmet when you ride?

Don’t own one, I’m forbidden to have one since Keyron is terrified that I’ll kill myself on a motorcycle. You see, I am a teensy bit of a speed demon. Nothing seriously dangerous, just say 80MPH. In a car it’s one thing but on a two wheeled vehicle. Hell in a car if you smack head on to something you’re dead too. It’s just that with a motorcycle the probability of death rises exponentially.

I’ve ridden them when I was younger. Yes wore a helmet too, sometimes.

5. Ever been skinny dipping?

Of course. Growing up we had a pool and I had willing friends.

Bonus: Ever been arrested? Turned someone in/had someone arrested?

No, and no. Sure I’ve called the cops on DV complaints when my neighbor was beating the shit out of his girlfriend. But other than that, no.

However I do know that my neighbors will drop a dime when anything seems even slightly out of order.

Have you ever…

1. been married?

Yes, a rather stupid mistake back in the 1980’s. I got sort of roped into it, a grandmother wanted to see one of her granddaughters married off before she died and well, there I was.

2. been divorced? been remarried?

Yes divorced. Right now I can’t marry since RI is now the only god damned state in New England that doesn’t have marriage equality.

3. had sex at a wedding reception?

I’m not that tacky. However at my own wedding reception I did the pairings for maximum effect.

For example, I paired my infantile biased friend Donny with the wifes well endowed cousin whose nickname was Boom Boom. I’ll leave that to your imagination. And my best friend had a thing for older women so he went home with my single MIL. Then there was the best man and the maid of honor. They had a thing for each other and were both married to other people at the time. I know they got busy.

4. had sex with someone you first met at a wedding or wedding reception?

Not that I can ever recall.

5. given a a toast to the bride and groom?

Yes I have, my above mentioned best man, well I was best man for his wedding.

Bonus (as in optional): What is the funniest thing you’ve seen or done at a wedding?

A bunch of grown people doing the Funky Chicken. Honestly, it has to be seen to be believed.

Bonus II (as in optional): What is the best toast for the wedding couples?

Live long and prosper, and if it should come that this relationship wasn’t meant to be, I can refer you to a good attorney.

I don’t know what it is, sometimes I’m so energized that I don’t want to sleep. This is just such an instant.

I skipped the last TMI because quite honestly the questions left me cold.

1. Marriage and children aside, what has been your greatest accomplishment in life?

So far? Starting my own company. For 16 years I worked for the State of Rhode Island and a few private employers. But I like the fact that I make the decisions, I decide who I’ll do business with.

2. Aside from healthy and happy children, what is your greatest ambition for the future?

To grow my company to the point where it makes me independently wealthy.

3. If we were to enter your real name in a search engine, what would we find?

Not too much. Most of my google references are my nom de net or my amateur radio callsign.

4. Who is the most famous person you ever met (not just in the same room as, but actually spoke with)?

Senator Sheldon Whitehouse.

5. Parents aside, who is your biggest hero?

Keyron. He’s just so comfortably out that it makes even my version of being out look sad.

6. Someone once worked out the sexual version of Six Degrees of Separation – Celebrity A slept with B, who slept with C, who slept with D, making as sort of connection between A and D. Are you connected to anyone famous through six or fewer bonks?

I have no idea. I’ve been fairly prudish about who I slept with, or at least that’s what some people think about me. There’s such a thing as perception ya know. I cultivate that like crazy.