Tag: Shit Wrapped in Chiffon

Another reason I can’t stand UPS

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So I’m awaiting some documents I need for a legal matter – to wit a death certificate. It was sent next day. And UPS as we are all familiar with by now, is Shit Wrapped in Chiffon.

Why?

They say this on the track page:
“Wednesday, 02/01/2017, by 3:00 P.M.(by end of day for residential deliveries)”

Now I’ve been round the block with UPS on what the term “end of day” means. I’ve gotten a moving target of answers from calling UPS, some say 7PM, some 8PM, some 9PM. This makes me highly suspicious that there’s no intention of delivering those documents today.

In addition the documents were sent as signature required. Now I have a long standing agreement with UPS that I don’t care if it’s marked signature required, they are to waive all of that. This was my previous conversation with UPS President office where I called them inept and idiotic. Of course now I know which cage I must rattle when dealing with UPS.

So I’m almost guaranteeing that I will NOT receive those documents today. Around 6PM I’ll have one of their irritating InfoNotice’s on my door and the exception will show up on the tracking page. They’ve done it before, they’ll do it again. And I’ve caught them on video doing it.

 

As if I needed yet another reason to hate UPS

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So on I’m scrolling through facebook and came across this article on how UPS did nothing to stop general misogyny being directed at a female aircraft mechanic, and more the the point told outright lies against her. Well – Shit Wrapped in Chiffon fits more and more every day. You can read the article here.

UPS of course started as a small regional package delivery company. They should have stayed in that state.

But it gets MUCH worse – if on that linked page you click the Holy S–t tab – the storeis there also show racial and misogynist treatment of workers at UPS. One of the articles even relates how UPS management retaliates. That’s some seriously fucked up shit.

This only cements my preference that things be shipped to me by USPS. But every once in a while you have Shit Wrapped in Chiffon UPS deliver – you cannot avoid it. But UPS needs to be taken down.

UPS: I won

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So this morning I’d finally had enough with UPS. When I left the house at 5:30AM I found an Info Notice on the door. So when I got to work I fired up my personal email and shot off a missive to the President, CEO and Director. Didn’t swear once in the email. In fact I addressed them as Gentleman and even signed off with Regards.

Yep – the conversation with the President’s office at UPS didn’t go so well. It ended with me insulting them. What can I say, I go for the jugular. And I don’t suffer fools gladly. The funny part is I spoke in a calm voice throughout, didn’t raise my voice. Just ended it with the bon mot of “UPS is inept and idiotic.”

But at noon time I got a call from the northeast regional director. He and I were able to hash it out. I got UPS to agree to just leave packages and that I absolved them of liability. I did that because I know the people shipping the product pretty much insure things of value against the probability of UPS losing or damaging things. At the end he told me he’d call back in an hour. Two hours go by and I get a call from the local UPS depot – to tell me my package WILL be delivered. Apparently the director must have ripped someone a new asshole. My kind of guy.

So my 1lb. jar of sour cream powder was ‘delivered’ today. I wrap the single quotes around it because the package was hummed onto the porch. Nice touch there UPS driver. I’m still deciding if I should report that too.

But it feels good – I was victorious. My address is now on UPS radar that they have to DELIVER the package.

All it took was emailing the President, CEO and Northeast Director and leaving my phone number.

UPS: They just don’t get it

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So I emailed the President, CEO and Regional Director at UPS about my story.

Just received a phone call from the CEO’s office – telling me I could use UPS My Choice – so I walked through it on the phone with them and it bombed out.

My parting words were that UPS is the most inept and idiotic company out there. My office mate found that quite, well that I’m vicious. Yes I go for the jugular.

They just don’t get it. She could have made the change for my address right on her computer. But no, push it to the consumer.

Here’s my response – I’ll just use another carrier when I have the choice. Because the horse shit with UPS is really bothering me. I’m now to the point where if I call a vendor or visit it’s web site and it uses UPS I just won’t buy from them. More to the point I’ll tell them WHY I won’t buy from them.

It’s time we admit – UPS is really Shit Wrapped in Chiffon.

Annual Rant: Where UPS once again proves they are Shit Wrapped in Chiffon

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So I ordered some powdered sour cream and powdered buttermilk. I use a lot of dairy and the powdered form is shelf stable so I ordered them on Amazon.

One shipped United States Postal Service, the powdered buttermilk in fact. It arrived today. The other shipped via UPS.

Here’s what was waiting on my door when I got home at 6PM:

New UPS InfoNotice

So they’ll leave it at a store several blocks away when there is a functional retail store right around the corner from me. But they aren’t a UPS drop stop. It’s funny I’d heard tell of these new info-notices and when I bought the powdered sour cream I didn’t think to see how they’d ship. Had I done so I would not have ordered it from the vendor. Because this is a consistent issue with UPS.

So I have to go out of MY way to get my package? Really? I find it awfully funny that UPS will deliver a 37lb refrigerator right to my office but when it comes to delivering a little 1lb package to my house it’s all hyper vigilance about leaving a package on my porch, but they’ll deliver things right to my desk at work.

It pretty much tells you who UPS would rather serve. It’s awfully funny for a company that got it’s start as a retail package runner in Chicago that they cannot understand that in the time it takes to write their annoying little info-notices they could have just delivered the package and saved themselves my ire. It’s been a while since I had to go down to UPS in Warwick and rip them a new asshole. I’m feeling the urge to do so again soon. I mean the last time I had to go down there I think I had to utter the words “Go Fuck Yourself” at least once. I need to have a tirade again where I can utter several variant of the word ‘fuck’ while I’m at a UPS facility.

Maybe with UPS, just maybe

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So I ordered a Rigol DS1054Z oscilloscope on Amazon of all places. The price is pretty sticky on it, $399. And I searched around.

But to my dismay the vendor shipped it via UPS. You know, Shit Wrapped in Chiffon.

Now I ordered the scope on the 22nd of May. It didn’t ship until yesterday – holiday weekend and all. So I can forgive that plus I didn’t pay extra for expedited shipping.

But Amazon says it’ll arrive on the 3rd of June. But when I take the UPS tracking number and plug it into UPS’s tracking web site it says it’s out for delivery today.

When I first saw that yesterday I theorized that either Amazon or UPS was telling a lie. Quelle surprise – it was Amazon. However I don’t have the item in my hands at this time, and UPS still has plenty of time to fuck it up. Now it shipped no signature required. If I have to go down to UPS and pick it up again I’m going to definitely tear them a new asshole.

Though I will admit, since I put up the sign in the street facing windows that it was in fact my address, the UPS driver now delivers the package no questions asked. So i’m hopeful. It’s all of a ten pound package. That might be too heavy for the driver to heft off the truck and all.

UPS once again proves that they are Shit Wrapped in Chiffon

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So I ordered a pair of spike stabilizers from LL Bean as it is getting slushy, icy around here. Now LL Bean is in Maine – just a stones throw from here relatively speaking. And it moved pretty quickly as evidenced below:

Tracking Details
DateScan Activity
02/03/2015 08:43 PM AN EMERGENCY SITUATION OR SEVERE WEATHER CONDITION HAS DELAYED DELIVERY. WARWICK RI
02/03/2015 05:24 AM DESTINATION SCAN WARWICK RI
02/03/2015 03:26 AM ARRIVAL SCAN WARWICK RI
02/03/2015 01:44 AM DEPARTURE SCAN CHELMSFORD MA
02/02/2015 09:42 PM ARRIVAL SCAN CHELMSFORD MA
02/02/2015 06:30 PM DEPARTURE SCAN FREEPORT ME
02/02/2015 04:20 PM ORIGIN SCAN AT CUSTOMER LOCATION FREEPORT ME
02/02/2015 09:03 PM BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED
Now it was supposed to be delivered yesterday. In fact where that 8:43PM entry there was one at 5:24AM – in fact it’s still there and they changed it to Destination Scan from  saying it was on the truck and out for delivery.
Now here’s the rub – Emergency Situation is a catch all. And the Severe Weather Condition – well yesterday we were all dug out, so no issue getting here. I think the driver saw the snow banks and decided it wasn’t worth delivering. A one pound package.
Meanwhile I’d ordered a couple items on Amazon. They shipped United States Postal Service. And they were delivered exactly when they said they’d be delivered. Including the texts from Amazon telling me so.

So what exactly is UPS’s problem? I urge every vendor I deal with to not ship things to me via UPS because invariably they don’t deliver to my address, in an urban area, in the capital city with a main street that crosses mine and three functioning business right around the corner from me.

Yes, UPS is in fact Shit Wrapped in Chiffon. And they don’t know or love logistics, what  UPS does know is how to fuck things up beyond all recognition. That’s UPS version of logistics.

UPS – no thanks!

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So I went and waited over 40 minutes to get my package. About 20 was waiting in line another 20 for the woman to find the package. 

So as I pick it up the woman says “I need to see your ID”. I answered “No you do not.” Then it was “I need you to sign for the package” to which I replied “No I won’t. “

The woman had the temerity to follow me out in the parking lot at which point I told her to go fuck herself. I had my package, I don’t care if I fuck up your logistics system. 

So I got my sneakers. I contacted Reebok – they only ship UPS or Fedex. I guess I won’t be doing business with them again. 

UPS: So as of 10AM this morning

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I’m going down to their depot in Warwick, RI at 150 Plan Way. They say my package is there. We’ll just see about that. This time I printed off the tracking page so I can slap it on the counter and say “Find my fucking package!”

They really are living up to the name Shit Wrapped in Chiffon. What can Brown do for you indeed? And they love the logistics of not delivering packages. 

I’ll update this later on. But what I find most boggling – that the item showed as out for delivery at 8:08AM but didn’t get the address error until 5:03PM. That’s awfully convenient. Nine plus hours in which they could have just delivered the fucking package. 

This is why despite the warts I love the United States Postal Service. They don’t play games. They get the job done. And honestly if the package is large they’ll simply leave me a tag on the door and I’ll go down and pick it up. The post office is about a mile from here. The UPS depot is 7.5 miles away. You see my point now don’t you. 

 

 

 

Yet another UPS Sucks Post

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UPS still sucksSo I ordered a pair of sneakers. Track said they’d be here today. But guess what, no package. I check the UPS status and see this:

Yeah I’m not happy. I’m on hold right now but I plan to rip them a fucking new one. Why do vendors use this Shit Wrapped in Chiffon shipper? Attention Reebok — I hate UPS with a burning passion.

And more to the point, look at the attached image. Notice it left Warwick at 8:08AM but the address exception didn’t take place until nearly 6PM in the evening.

I ripped into them on the phone. Didn’t swear all that much, did yell a few times though. So now I have to go out of my way to pick up the package tomorrow. I’ve already let the folks at Reebok know I’m not a happy camper. I’ll likely get the shipping charge reversed.

But the fact I have to go through this nearly every time UPS tries to deliver something says a hell of a lot. They claim to love logistics. The only logistics they love is how they can fuck with their customers. Because they certainly can’t locate an address next door to a business that they regularly deliver to and pick up from and it’s the same driver who delivers to me. So they’re blowing smoke up my ass and I don’t appreciate it.

And funny of funnies – when I was on the phone with the rep I said that UPS is famous for tag and run but that this is a new twist on the theme. I got an acknowledgement on that one. So they know the drivers pull this shit.

Now to be fair the drivers they do stuff those trucks pretty full. And I can understand how they might blow a 2 day delivery because a next day job took priority. But be honest with your customers.

I mean in the past I’ve had UPS representatives say that residential deliveries happened after 5PM, then 7PM. But then the next day they’d try to deliver the package at 1:30 in the afternoon. Shit like that.

And it’s funny, I’ve been head hunted for positions in their I.T. department. I’ve turned them down every time. I don’t want to be a piece of a what was once a local delivery business in Chicago that has now grown to such a size that it’s like an unwieldy beast. Like a Hyrda with eight heads, none of which know what any of the others is doing.